I watched Bridgerton…
“Love’s about finding the one person who makes your heart complete. Who makes you a better person than you ever dreamed you could be. Its about looking in the eyes of your wife and knowing all the way to your bones that she’s simply the best person you’ve ever known.” Julia Quinn, The Viscount Who Loved Me.
You may or may not have got on the Bridgerton band wagon. My friend watched it then her husband and 20 year old something children said she was basically watching porn. I mean tbf there is A LOT of sex.
Not going to lie, the main squeeze is beautiful and I found myself completely lost and in love with the whole series. It’s a bandwagon I enjoyed getting on at a time when we could all use some distractions.
I don’t normally watch many period dramas, not really my kind of thing. If you haven’t watched it then it is essentially a series based loosely on the idea of Gossip Girl. A high class society courting each other to win marriages and titles. It’s set in the regency period- so in the 1800s.
Of course, it is a drama and this isn’t footage of what it was actually like in the 1800s but the ideas and the concepts all make sense. What I always find fascinating is how women were treated and how similar threads of stories continue for women over 200 years later.
As you know I am passionate for everything feminine and healing. I am always wondering how much healing we have done as a collective for the feminine.
First of all, the way that females were not outspoken and were simply used to create heirs is something that we still see around the world today. One of my favourite characters was Eloise. This character wanted more than to be a wife, more than to have children and there was no where for her to turn.
Eloise is basically how many feel. Those who don’t have children are questioned in our society and those who do are also…questioned in society. ‘Oh so you don’t want to actually have children?’ or a ‘Oh you want to work and be a mother.’ We can do no wrong or right. The question here is- how much have societies expectations on women actually changed.
The other aspect of it I loved was about sex education and the female body. How little they all knew. How Daphne had an argument with her mother chastising her for how little she knew about actually being in a marriage. The lack of preparation for things like sex and babies.
Now, I don’t know about you but one of my first sexual encounters was after school one day with a guy in upper sixth. I mean I was keen to get to know anyone who simply paid me attention at this point. Totally lost in the whole, “I just need a bf now.” I had absolutely zero regard for myself. We’d been snogging at the latest school disco and a few days later we were in his bedroom. He promptly flopped out his penis and believe me when I say the overwhelm was real. I didn’t even have at that point the kind advice of a stunning duke educating me on the importance of touching myself.
I remember staring blankly at his erect penis and not having a fucking clue what to do with it. After a few seconds of me looking at it, I grabbed it and literally held it. Like it was a newborn chick. Ah ain’t it cute this not so cute looking thing. After a few more seconds, once he realised I had zero idea around what second base manifested itself as…or is this 3rd base? He popped his friend away as quickly as he got it out.
Soon after this experience, I had to ask a girlfriend, “What even is that, what do I do.” I remember finding a magazine and there was an article which was most useful. It then only made sense to…him…that I didn’t encounter his penis again. Ah young “love.”
So that was circa 2005 and let’s be frank I was clearly less clued up than Daphne.
The other thing I was thinking about when watching it was how natural everything must have been, so few endocrine disrupters upsetting their fertility and the expectation of children was a given. They talked of struggles but pregnancy seemed in general so easy. Fertility was a given. And it seriously has been until more recently, dare I say it since hormone contraceptions and a western way of life. Ofc not just the issue of contraceptions but they are adding to some of peoples’ difficulties.
Now, before we even try to conceive or have periods even we fear our femininity. Years of suppression and loss has created an energetic fear which in turn has created difficult periods and difficult conceptions.
Body literacy is so poor right now it is laughable.
The final thing I loved is how they depicted love. How Daphne’s mother was striving for a relationship for her daughter first and foremost. Perhaps I also kind of enjoyed how much they were trying to find love with beautiful balls. How everyone had the same intentions. I feel like when we decide to actually find a person, it is a bloody nightmare. Then there are those who have no intention of wanting a serious relationship and no one is none the wiser before going on a date. The dating world is HARD. How simple it looked in the 1800s.
Having one person in your life is also HARD. I loved how they shared the difficulties Daphne and Simon faced but then how they worked together to get through them. How they looked into each other’s history to find the traumas to work through them and not simply by-pass them.
We tend to be drawn to those who bring up all our shadows. Such clashes and difficulties are inevitable with whoever we find. We tend to hurt each other with ease because our partner is our mirror. The love is real, the hurt is real, the journey is long and hard.
So I just kinda watched it and wondered how much has actually changed in 200 years for womxn. How things seem to have in some respects got harder. I also wondered why I don’t float around in dresses more often.
Naomi x
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