Self-care is just a bullshit term nowadays
I love chatting self-care. I could harp on and on about how wonderful it is for you to drink more water, take time to slow down, listen to your body and the importance of putting your fucking phone DOWN.
But then, when I think about 2020 and 2020’s version of self-care it seems to not be the version of self-care I think we all need to be considering. It also sounds a bit lame. A bit- oh my gosh babe I am having an evening of self-care with a bubble bath and netflix sesh.
The term makes you think that you need to make a big song and dance about it. Like, if you aren’t running a bath filled with petals while the room plays pipe music then what even is your self-care. If you aren’t eating the brightest buddha bowl garnished with a pansy, then what is even the point of your lunch. If you aren’t nailing the downward dog and moving into cobra in a wonderful flow then you need to mark that on your weekly to-do asap.
This isn’t me pissing on any candle lit evenings ahead. This is me just trying to bash out what we really conjure up in our minds around the term “self-care” and whether Instagram has gone a little too far the other way in terms of idealising what it means to look after yourself. I for one do nail a downward dog and love a face mask of an evening. The point is, I do these things because I actually enjoy them and have for as long as I can remember. I was a 19 year old yoga-lover to support me with my PTSD and panic attacks. The pressure to enjoy certain self-love practices seems a bit wild to me and if you don’t enjoy yoga or baths or anything else you think of when someone asks you about your self-care it makes you feel as though you aren’t nailing society’s expectations.
The problem is we still live in a world which prioritises yang and what we are looking for, is to find things that help us embrace our yin energy. Everyone has cottoned onto the fact that we need to stop, slow, and engage in some self-love, but it’s being pushed in our faces in ways that just don’t work for everyone.
Let’s consider what looking after oneself actually entails when living in a busy, toxic kinda world. And…it is toxic (I’m not suddenly bringing my feminine views into this little letter) because it’s full of plastics and such-like which are termed ‘endocrine disrupters.’ Anything we can do to make small switches, slow and look after ourselves should be deemed as a win.
Firstly, basic needs. Supporting yourself in the most basic way is “self-care”. Have you drunk enough water? Is it 11am and the only thing to pass your lips is a caffeine fuelled cuppa (or three). What’s your daily diet look like? Are you pre 2019 Naomi and eating your weight in sausage sandwiches and pasta meals? Or have you actually eaten some fruit and vegetables? Have you slowed down before bedfordshire? Have you taken some time out of your evening to do something you enjoy. A bath with a wild rainbow bathbomb- you go babes…a spot of Netflix and then a bit of your current book of choice-sounds perfect. A session on your favourite playstation game or some arts and crafts. What about moving your body this week? Have you danced to the spice girls (volume on full for the neighbours also on lockdown to join in with) or have you been massaging your third eye in child’s pose. Maybe your new daily exercise is a jog in the fresh air and you’re starting to feel like you could give Paula a run for her money…
Then of course we have other forms of wellness, from wonderful massages, to self-reiki, to crystals under our pillows. From cheeky purchases to perk up your tits- money permitting and sustainability in the back of ones mind if poss, to baking sourdough because you are ticking off lockdown to-dos.
My point, my point lovely one, is that really what we are sharing and discussing here is not self-care. It’s not bubble baths. It’s learning to navigate 2020. A world filled with “just do it” “keep going” “don’t stop now” kinda mantras. A world that’s fast paced and technologically heavy. Where people want a yes not in 5 mins but like, yesterday.
My point, is not to forget you. And rather than waiting for your self-care session that you planned on having on the 29th of April and it’s now the wtf of May. Remember to consider each day, remember to embrace your yin energy every.single.day. In some small way. A little goes a long way.
I don’t know what we call it if we don’t call it self-care but I just want you to remember- self-care comes in lots of forms. Take care of YOU gorge.
That’s why on an aeroplane they tell you to fix your mask before helping others…
Much loves
Naomi xx
