A 101 for using lubricant

Giving La Lubricant Lowdown

You might have been curious about intimate lubes, why you’d want to use one and what to look for in your next. First up, respecting the vagina in ALL your intimate choices is the best place to start.  The skin lining the vagina is one of the most absorbent places on the body, so you really want to take care of what you put down there, as well as the energy and intention of what you are doing and using! Luckily, we’ve put this guide together so you can make the right choice for you and your vagina.

So why might you want to use lube?

Using lube is a great choice for solo or partnered play because it can reduce icky friction that may disrupt your enjoyment. But more than that, penetration of a minimally lubricated vagina can cause micro-abrasions and trauma to the delicate vaginal tissues, making them more susceptible to opportunistic infection by candida, bacterial vaginosis-causing bacteria, STIs or HIV. And this is where choosing a good lube can come in handy – because, after all, everything is better with (the right) lube!

Using a lube should be a good experience, and these days there are so many to choose from you don’t need to put up with anything sticky, staining, unnatural or irritating.

Is lube ok to eat / lick? 

Most lubricant companies wouldn’t advertise outright that you eat their products, but if you do end up ingesting some during play, then that’s absolutely fine.  See the ‘Is natural important to you?’ section below.  Because the vaginal mucosa is naturally very absorbent, you may want to reframe that question to ask yourself whether you’re happy to put something into your vagina that you wouldn’t be happy putting in your mouth!

If I need lube a lot, does it mean I’m not turned on or like the person I’m with enough? 

There are many reasons you can be turned on but not produce as much lubricant vaginally as you would like or expect. There’s nothing to be ashamed of here.  It’s totally normal, and there is nothing wrong with you. Some reasons could include stress, your hydration levels being sub-optimal, your hormone levels (your point in the cycle and being postpartum come into it), and any medications you’re on – anti-histamines and some antidepressant medication are great examples that can dry out mucosa. What’s important here is that you feel aligned in consent around the person you are intimate with.

I used to never need lube, and now I feel like I do. What’s going on? 

Of course, our bodies change over time.  Hormone levels affect vaginal and vulval tissue, as well as levels of lubrication, and stress can affect our hormone levels.  Peri-menopause can start from late 30 onwards and is marked by changing oestrogen levels as we head towards menopause, which impacts vaginal lubrication too.  It can feel confusing but know that it’s totally normal, natural and nothing to feel shame around.

Do I need lube if I self-pleasure?

‘Need’ would be a strong way to describe it but a good amount of lubrication, whether self-produced or gladly added, will enhance or even make your experience, ensuring a smoother, more pleasure-filled feeling. Just ensure that what you do feels good for you, and you can’t go far wrong!

What kind of lube is right for me + how can I decide?  

You might want to consider a few factors when choosing your lube, such as what you want to use it for, where and with whom/what. And don’t forget; you can buy more than one for use in different situations! 

Do I need a different type of lube if I’m using a toy vs sex w/ a condom or protected sex vs no protection w/ a trusted partner?

Generally, the answer is yes. There are four main types of lubricant, and they each have their plus points:

Water

Good for use in virtually all situations, water-based lubricants are safe for use even with condoms and toys and generally won’t stain the sheets. It might not be long-lasting enough for anal play (the anus doesn’t have a mucosal lining and therefore doesn’t produce any of its lubrication, so it always needs generous lubricant application).

Silicone

Also long-lasting and often hypoallergenic, this can be more suitable for water-based play and anal sex. Definitely not suitable for use with toys!

Hybrid

These lubes are water-based with a small amount of silicone, making a creamy texture, which combines the best aspects of both types, long-lasting lubrication and versatility. Some may be suitable for toy use but always do a patch test first.

Oil

Very long-lasting, great for low reapplication rate, oil-based lube can be great for massage too – just not for condom use! It can also play havoc with the vaginal pH.

Is natural important to you?

Vaginal mucosa is some of the most absorbent tissue of the body – meaning that a high percentage of what goes on it gets into the bloodstream. You should be totally fine with whatever lube you use to get into your mouth too! With this in mind, are natural, non-toxic ingredients important to you? Check the full ingredients list. Some products call themselves natural and have some natural ingredients, but not their full list. Know what you’re putting in your body using the info here. 

This is especially important if you have any sensitivities.

Many know if they have any vaginal sensitivities or irritation, but some only realise when they react to a product. If you have these sensitivities, look for lubes that avoid glycerine or promises such as warming, flavour or tingling, etc. Instead, look for a lube that promises to be pH balanced to intimate pH of between 3.8 – 4.5 and has an osmolarity of less than 380mOsm/kg – meaning that it will not dry out vaginal tissues.

You may also want to avoid lubes with these ‘nasties’ as ingredients.

Do you use any barrier method contraception?

In this case, you should be using a water or silicon-based lube.

Are you trying to conceive?

Then a pro-conception lube might be more appropriate here – the pH of sperm is much higher (at around pH6), and a pro-conception lube will have a matching pH. It is worth noting that these lubes may irritate your vagina because of this pH.

Are you using a toy?

Then make sure you use a water-based, not a silicone-based, lube, as silicone-based ones could depredate the surface of a toy, especially if it’s made from silicone – if in doubt, go with a water-based one.

As you can see, there’s lots of experimentation and fun to be had with lube! Introduce it into your intimate encounters with confidence as you would any other idea. And enjoy!

By Kathie Bishop

Vaginal health herbalist Kathie Bishop MNIMH is the founder of Into the Wylde. This award-winning natural intimate lubricant brand is registered with the Vegan Society and The Soil Association. She also runs the Wylde Herbalist clinic, where she helps people transform their vaginal health.  She is the author of It’s Your Power Portal: Take Control of Your Vaginal Health with Herbal and Holistic Care, published by Aeon in April 2022. She is the recipient of the Innovation in Practice Award from The National Institute of Medical Herbalists in 2021. She firmly believes that lube is for everyone, not just around and beyond menopause and that everything is better with the right one.

She truly believes that the world needs more feminine power, creativity, and leadership, and she hopes that through healing our, and society’s, relationship with the vagina, whose name is so often dared not spoken, we can have a greater impact for good in the work we create, do and embody.