You don't need a doula

You don’t need a doula… you probably won’t think you need a doula until you get near full term.

*Spoiler alert this heading was clickbait.*

I’m a Margate, East Kent, Thanet-based doula. A birth and postpartum doula.

It’s needed clickbait in my defence.

“The labour ward is silent.”

Why is a labour ward? The primal beautiful transition from maiden to mother. The space where we allow ourselves to land into the portal to it all. The time where we can do as we need with wild woman, fuck you all, made of gold space, birthing goddess space.

SILENT.

We have to ask ourselves.

Why is the labour ward fucking silent?

Where are the mothers.

This was what I reflected on with my first time on the QEQM Margate labour ward as a witness vs a mother giving birth.

You know the answer I am sure, right?!

You know why women are silent.

Not just silent in their voice to speak for their needs.

But silent in their birth portal. The ONE time we feel we can lean into it all. Land into the arms of the Great Mother, and become one to it all. The one time.

Because mothers are silenced. They are strapped down and silenced.

And my witnessing of birth is mirrored with my witnessing of it all. The witnessing of a woman who has been silenced and ignored with her painful periods, painful sex, painful gut issues and painful rape experiences (medical rape or sexual rape).

My witness of birth. My role as a Margate-based birth and postnatal doula only informs my holistic pelvic care work. Because the feminine is silenced.

And unless you have been through something that needs you to become aware of the system that is. The pedestal of professionals and what that means for us all. Unless…

You won’t think you need or prioritise having a doula.

Many times, there will be the time when people will believe that that money is better spent elsewhere. The fear, the worries of having this space at a time when finances are likely at the end of say buying a house or before mat leave.

Until it’s too late.

Until you are like me and look back at your birth and so wish it was different. So wish you had that cheerleader empowering the feminine and the masculine to ensure that featherbed of motherhood is there for you.

The featherbed that is ripped from so many of us.

And lemme tell ya, no amount of group antenatal or hypnobirthing is gonna aid this process.

Oh and also lemme tell ya while I am here, if you think the latest report sharing how absolutely insane and fucked the system is for birth trauma will impact mothers positively. You are likely wrong. Your birth is about to get even more medicalised. And it’s clever. Very clever. Birth is big business.

‘Here’s a report showing you how bad it all is led by an MP to prove to you why we need to silence you even further to keep you SAFE.’ That week was a sad week for me, hunz.

I got into doula work at the perfect time- in my eyes. And I am in all things vagina work at the perfect time. Take what you will from the things I share.

But, I’m there. Holding women in the feminine after their birth trauma with my finger in the centre of their body. In their vagina. While they cry into the arms of the Great Mother wishing for someone to hear them.

To hear their cries.

Here’s a little video around why you won’t think you need a doula until you get to thirty-six weeks plus.

Here’s a link to explore my Kent doula services.